You analyze the past, look for the reasons for your actions, work on your shortcomings and try to get stronger. You want to get rid of fears, stop making mistakes, learn to react correctly. And gradually self-development becomes an endless work on yourself, where you always lack something to become worthy of love and acceptance.
But what if you are tired not only of life, but also of the constant struggle with yourself?
Not every pain should immediately become a task. Sometimes the stimulation hides fatigue, the anxiety hides the need for security, and the desire to get away from everyone hides the need to be quiet. And instead of judging yourself for these feelings, you can try to understand what they are saying.
You don't have to be the best version of yourself first to earn your love. Try at least once to treat yourself as you would treat a loved one who is currently struggling. Don't demand immediate changes, don't devalue your experiences, don't be ashamed of what doesn't work out yet.
You can admit your mistakes and stay on your side at the same time. You can strive for change without considering yourself broken.
Healing does not always begin with getting rid of the pain. Sometimes it starts with you stopping to leave yourself alone with her.