Men in the real army shave carefully, iron their pants, walk in cohesion and greet each other together. And they are constantly saluting each other, in the sense of a military salute, or whatever it's called. Every soldier in such an army has a brave and neat appearance, a history of excellent physical training records, a military ID card, a combat order, a bill of lading, a belt with a star, a yarmulke two fingers below the testicles, a fire extinguisher in the cockpit and a wall newspaper on his backside. This army is capable, if necessary, of conquering Kyiv, Warsaw and Berlin in a few months. The only thing I don't understand is where the hell is this army? Why are civilians like me fighting in its place for five years already? Backside? (In the picture, our commander. With a beard and an iconostasis, yes).

Men in the real army shave carefully, iron their pants, walk in cohesion and greet each other together. And they are constantly saluting each other, in the sense of a military salute, or whatever it's called. Every soldier in such an army has a brave and neat appearance, a history of excellent physical training records, a military ID card, a combat order, a bill of lading, a belt with a star, a yarmulke two fingers below the testicles, a fire extinguisher in the cockpit and a wall newspaper on his backside. This army is capable, if necessary, of conquering Kyiv, Warsaw and Berlin in a few months. The only thing I don't understand is where the hell is this army? Why are civilians like me fighting in its place for five years already? Backside? (In the picture, our commander. With a beard and an iconostasis, yes).