If your partner is aware enough,
But you still fight with him every now and then,
So here are some tips from Eckhart Toll:
I suggest to couples who sometimes go through periods of drama, periods of body-pain, to make an agreement, if you both understand the importance of awakening, to have an agreement, not when you are at the mercy of the body-pain - there is no point in arguing with the body-pain, no rational argument will ever reach it - but when you are both relatively aware. Just say, "Okay, last week, remember when we had the pain body attack?" - "Yes." - "Okay".
And don't start with: "Yes, but you started it." No, don't go there. And there is no need to go there. Just say: "There was pain, no matter who started it. That was the pain we had. Okay, next time, let's make a deal. If you see the beginning of a pain body in me, please let me know." And the other person says, "Okay, I agree, and if you see it in me, let me know too. Please let me know this is the pain body so I can stay conscious so it doesn't completely take over me." And you can even agree on a small sign, any sign. And so you have an agreement, and you have permission to mutually point to each other's body of pain, and then just wait for the next chapter.
And now comes the critical moment. And you watch how the pain body is activated in the other person. This is the beginning, or you know that there is a certain topic that always activates the body of pain in another, maybe it has to do with money or something else, it could be anything. And here it is. And then you say, "Oh, maybe your pain body is waking up?" You must be very careful. And if the person still has some consciousness left, he or she will say, "Oh, maybe it is. Let me check it myself."
However, this person may have already moved beyond this level. And it no longer hears what you say, because now it's a pain body. You no longer speak to him or her, you speak to the pain body. And so, if you missed the moment, or it happened so quickly that you missed the beginning, then you say, "Isn't that your pain body?" Then the pain body will answer you: "How dare you talk about my pain body, take a better look at your pain body!" "You're just projecting, it's yours. Because it's always yours. " And no rational argument will ever get through the pain, it is completely meaningless, because the person is very unconscious, and at that moment he is in the power of this entity, as I call it, like... a little gremlin. But it is a wonderful practice. I find that people with intense pain bodies are more motivated to awaken spiritually than people with a relatively weak pain body, because they simply cannot take it anymore.
From lectures
ECKHART TOLLE 🐈
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